Hindsight

The person with good hindsight must have mastered being a keen observer and the other attention skills discussed in the blog. Unfortunately just a  few of which has entered my limited attention at the moment. The person must learn how to use or apply presently existing resources and/or past experiences to improve methods and other systems to work around similar or new problems.

Infants and young children must learn many other alternative uses of everyday things. Play games with your child to illustrate this. With a simple stick for example, show her its many possible uses. Show her different but similar-appearing objects that may be used in the same way.

Adolescents must become interested in findings more efficient ways of solving problems or of implementing projects. He must dig deep into his past experiences or the experiences of others and use what works. Rise above the fear of discussing your failures, discuss and try to understand the reasons or causes of failure and how to avoid them. Maybe put this into a game where different teams will try to solve a similar problem as different groups who will race to brainstorm and take advantage of each members experiences. Discuss how the winning team got the upper hand.

When confronted by a problem not solved by the usual available methods, adults must learn to leverage from past experiences or experiment with new ideas.  We must have enough contingencies as well as enough awareness to work around every obstacles we encounter that keeps us from reaching our goal. We must embrace error and failures as necessary components to learning. If we have to, we must fail our way to success. Once success is obtained, you may want to make some effort to understand why the chosen method/strategy worked. And exploration as to other possible future applications of the same utilized method may be undertaken. If only people use this everyday, we would notice more and more people learn genuinely and less people will believe that common sense is not common nowadays. Let us bring common sense back to our work places. Do you agree? Start with your kid. Spend quality simple and productive time with them. They will learn faster than us adults. In fact we could teach better than we could learn because of our bad habits that would get in the way. Our kids do not have those bad habits. It is our kids who will be able to solve the mess we leave them in this crazy world of ours.

Evaluation

I have discussed in moderate detail a few of several faces of attention control that included bias, option filter, foresight, hindsight among other things. Again whether you realize it or not, these attention control skills are actually products of Values such as Love. They are the things that successful people develop and use to make their lives wonderful. A lot of these successful people however do not have the skill to identify these details and link them to how they become what they are. Successful people are usually here to DO stuff rather than TEACH stuff. They parrot the catch phrases "positive thinking", "Love is Love", etc  but could not explain what it is they mean by all that in more and more detail. While they do what they do best, other less successful people see the benefits but are not fully aware of how those other people  do it. These attention controls can help everyone communicate. I could help partly by pointing to this fact. I do not have the necessary teaching skills myself but hopefully others who would pick up on what I say so they can either use it in their lives or teach it to others in better ways.

Aside from the other skills discussed, we must learn to master evaluation if we want to improve ourselves or our organization(s). It will help us decide if we did a good job or not or if the solutions we implemented are appropriate or not. Good periodic evaluation or assessment skills will help us accomplish what must be done.

Learn to how to evaluate projects. Learn how to quantify gains or losses. Learn how to gauge if the chosen solution was effective in answering any obstacle that was identified. Know what parameters to examine or monitor. You would have to identify the parameter to measure or quantify or count yourself. And you would have to find a way to count it periodically to monitor your progress. Without it, you might miss your goals or preferred outcome or dream. Without good evaluation skills, you can hardly keep yourself on track because you are again not paying careful attention. Perhaps you are not that serious in the pure longings of your heart. Do not let complacency again derail you. Get more serious in getting your wants, needs and purpose all aligned.

Infants must attain object permanence. He must learn to recognize his parents soon. He must learn to feel if he is facing danger. Pain assessment must be appropriate. Must be able to count or tell if something is big or small, high or low, light or dark, fast or slow. Play games that can teach all or some of these.

Adolescent must know what things, ideas, concepts can be beneficial for him or not. He must be able to evaluate which contemporary or adult has more influence which he can tap to his advantage. He must be able to identify which friends are good for him and which are not. Complementary traits as well as similar traits may work for him as he masters the intricacies of social life.

Play pattern recognition and error detection games. Indulge in periodic self evaluation and peer evaluation activities. Ask the kids what areas they would rather be  evaluated for.

Adults must know how they are doing and how they can improve himself or his organization under many situations. We must re-learn what and how to count (we must also count the intangible stuff for these are Real Assets as well)  and how often we should count (maybe at least three times before the project/stage ends) to gauge our progress. Many of us can not even use our talent in counting to know how much we are spending on basic necessities every month. We can not tell how much we are spending on things that can wait. Those things that are not necessary for a full life we have been describing in each and every posted blog message here. No one has really ever taught us how to count those so we can re-align our goals and re-direct our trajectory through the path of Life full of Love.

Adults must determine possible parameters to quantify that can be used as basis to measure performance. If we Love something so much, we will know what we need to know about this.

We must make regular rapid and accurate assessments of available resources within our disposal. If we Love to get something, we will not surrender. We will have to stand up every time we fall short of our expectations.

Evaluations may help signal if we need to re-adjust our goals and strategies. It can tell us if we need new resources or newer strategies, preview better and more realistic goals or boost our hindsight to discover what is more achievable. Learning to minimize errors are not a daily concern of complacent people. Detect and try to correct your errors using better ways. Teach yourselves to make more sound judgments.

Problem-Solution Filter

This is one of the most commonly encountered stumbling blocks. There is unrecognized abundance of solutions to every type of problem imagined. The real task is not finding a solution from scarcity but finding the best solution(s) from a seemingly unlimited choice deeply seated within us. Remember that any problem and their appropriate answers have been in us all this time. We do not act alone but we act as a collective unit. More heads are better than one on condition that they all have the appropriate tools and have the proper mindset.

Since a given problem can be solved in so many different ways, we can start by listing as many solutions as we can think of. Try to find out if you'll use one solution or a combination of solutions.

Never jump in and use the first thing that comes to your mind with very few exceptions such as emergencies. Anyway, our response to such scenarios have actually been anticipated and already studied before it ever happens. Thus even emergency situations are confronted with solutions that have been well thought of in advance.

Among the growing list, take note of the most obvious solution to your problem and place it aside. The brainstorming group must try to understand the problematic thing or process in question and theoretically divide the process into about three stages- if that is possible. I call this as simple deconstruction phase. Study each process and find parallel occurrences from nature or from everyday life. Play around the currently accepted concepts and list any ideas that may be placed on the table regardless if it sounds so absurd at that moment. We can find parallel ideas from nature, we can oppose, or we can exaggerate the ideas and see what will come of it. I call that phase as simple brainsuperstorming phase. Attempt to integrate the seemingly absurd ideas with the specific problematic process under scrutiny/study. I call this phase as simple integration. If you are very interested to understand this by taking an example to illustrate how it is done, write a comment and identify a problem (I will not guarantee that we will be able to solve the problem, but I can guarantee one of the best experience in problem solving you may have yet encountered).

Summarize any potential solution that may come out. Discuss what you think about it, what you feel about it and what you believe should be taken into consideration.

Discuss potential obstacles by checking what is currently available. Then shift the group's focus to determine the solution's doability or feasibility also by checking what is currently available.

Repeat the above process by picking a few more ideas from your solution list with apparent potential.

Be decisive and choose the best option for serious implementation.

Expose the infant early to the concept that there are many solutions to one problem through simple games. Expose to sounds and color of nature.

Do the same for the older child. Let her understand how nature has arranged the dynamics, behavior and structure of living and non living things to maintain harmony. Let her develop a good sense of humor which may be of great help in advanced  problem solving. Talk with her about the obstacles that he encounters. Let her solve the problem herself if she has the motivation. You may demonstrate how it is done initially but be careful not to over do it such that she becomes dependent on you every time she faces a problem.

Adolescence is a time when higher centers of the brain are actively developing. Let her always take time out before implementing an obvious solution. Let her think of the many other possible alternatives and choose what is best by elimination of the weaker solutions. Demonstrate how she can deconstruct, brainsuperstorm and integrate ideas and form solutions. Initially move at the same pace with her slow development but later add speed and urgency as she enters adulthood.

For adults, do the same. Let them learn about critical or analytical thinking, lateral thinking and creative thinking. It is not a one-man show so it is not bad idea to get help in finding alternative solutions to problems. Life is not an exam or test where people should not collaborate on the best answers to question. Work in a group and actively participate in problem solving activities. Merge your minds and move as a unit at one time building ideas or at another time quality testing them. Grab every opportunity by practicing at work or in your extracurricular activities. But be ready to develop the capacity to orchestrate the problem solving activity as leader or moderator in a group. Be serious in taking advantage of such opportunities to learn since you will need it in the future where you may need to put up your own projects. Impulsive problem solving habits are hard to break in the adult, so prepare those fancy tools such as your thoughts and concepts (icons or images), feelings, beliefs, Values, etc.

We therefore should not spring to action impulsively. We need to think and feel with our Hearts, choose the best solution before we shift into ACTION.

ADDENDUM:
As an example of the brainstorming process I described above, I picked the simple example of an ordinary tool we use on the office table-the paper staple remover. A few days ago, I tried to again demonstrate how Superbrainstorming or Creative thinking or Conceptual thinking or Lateral thinking produces solutions. We all know that sometimes the staples are hard to remove and sometimes they can injure skin when not careful. In 10 minutes, I was successful in try to come up with alternative futuristic solutions to this simple gadget by just going through the process I described above. Highlight of the result was that we have a choice not to settle with the old clamping device. I was able to find doable alternatives as simple as using sticky material in the corners of papers (which is almost in existence in the form of sticky pads) to the more elaborate concepts of producing papers with corner cut out slit-like designs that will allow easy attachment and detachment using twisting or sliding motions on the paper edge to more high-tech alternatives of mixing very thin magnetic materials in the corner or edges of papers that will allow the same maneuver even without touching the papers. So this concept will then be forwarded to designers and engineers. There is more of those ideas waiting for minds that are ready to understand how superbrainstorming works.

Foresight

"among the many animals in Nature, Man is among the few given the natural skill to foresee or project into the future using our highly evolved brains."

After discussing Perspectives, let us discuss foresight- another seemingly ordinary word. But among the many animals in Nature, Man is among the few given the natural skill to foresee or project into the future using our highly evolved brains. We may call this ability as foresight. It is related to dreams plus a little help from our experiences with the causal relationships of situations, events or  phenomena in nature. If you are filled with living Hope, you can actually make that dream or carefully calculated foresight become reality.

 Hope is Living and it requires action!

Many of us feel hopeless because we never taught ourselves about true Hope. We are usually exposed or surrounded by people who lost Hope. Hope is a product of the Heart especially the kind of Heart that wants to make things better. The person who has real Hope forms his ideas in thought form. Breathes positive emotions into the idea and transforms it into Images. Images may symbolize a detailed plan(s). Plans can be transformed into action. This plan starts with dreams and foresight. It requires subsequent brainstorming for many alternative solutions, prioritization and identifying best methods to implement, resource collection, scheduling, evaluation and innovation which will be individually discussed. If these are not part of your daily activities yet, that is probably the reason why you feel you can't accomplish anything.

Do not let anyone rob you of your ability to Hope and foresee an image or abstract idea you want to concretely experience in the future.  Develop your fioresight and your other related skills to make plans and dreams come true.

Let infants, children, adolescents dream, guide them to the next first few steps to realize that dream in their lifetime. Let them be in charge of their attention controls as they grow into school age. Guide them through the next stages of Attention control which I consider as precursor skills to eventually  become competencies that will create global accomplishments.

But be reminded that accomplishments are not required to be competent. Certificates of accomplishments only mark that you have Competence. As long as you hold on to your dream and as long as you try everyday to move closer to it no matter what the pace, you are fine and well. Hope is dynamic. It is more alive than a passive wish. Hope acts to make your Dream come true.

Adults must lead people to better and better lives. Adults must learn to connect foresight or previewing abilities along with the other attention control abilities with Hope. Those other essential abilities are discussed later.

Time Allocation Control

We really never had any similar occasion in history where people enjoy spending a lot of hours with their addictions. It was different when early humans spent time out with Nature. At least the natural messenger was benevolent. Mother Nature's interest has always been to teach us to live in harmony with the rest of Creation. Nowadays, our attention (hours and hours and hours of it)  are captured for longer and longer periods of time by a questionable influence that have interests far different from our individual interests. This is done though our current high technology media that markets the ideas of a few people. We have been buying all their popular ideas.

So what can we do about it?

For infants, go back to basics and start with numbers.

For young children, introduce time telling and time management in terms of establishing schedules for school, homework, play, meals, sleep, etc. Present time and tasks in list or table format. If you have to use hi-tech media, make sure you provide more time on learning Values, good relationships, academic education, games and entertainment in decreasing if not equal amounts.

For adults, re-learn how you can use simple counting to work for your welfare. Adults must become completely and totally aware of how much they spend each day for sleeping, resting their eyes and minds during work, time working for another person, time working to pay government taxes, time working on your own projects if you have any, time working on your physical health.  It may be time to re-balance your schedule. Reset the time schedule to make it work for you if really necessary. I understand that it  will be a little tricky at first. But you may do the re scheduling now and delay the implementation when it is more feasible. It is better late than never. Your own lives really depend on it!

Expect that no one else might do this for you except you. So it's about time to teach your brain some simple time allocation skills. If you think your brain is not naturally wired for it, then recruit more brain cells to make it possible. Your adult brain still has the property of neuroplasticity or malleability. Use a journal if you must. Time to get organized. Do it at work or in your extracurricular activities. Be serious of taking advantage of such opportunities for you will need it in the future where you may need to put up your own projects.

Focus

"Sharply focused adults may be effective in doing the job fast and efficiently. It may also be a trap by itself keeping the person inside a boring non dynamic scene. However, the roaming thinkers may provide out of the box and creative ideas that may be overlooked by the other group. They both need each other. But of course, the person who is able to master both kinds of minds may be in a better position to work under any circumstance and with any kind of partner available at that instant. This balanced kind of person may be the  type that may notice that a huge part of the human family is suffering, can temporarily put his personal interest on hold, understand the problems, contribute to the solutions by alerting other busy people to work on those ignored global problems."

With poor control of the roaming mind, a person's thoughts tend to wander into other things not so related to the topic at hand. There may even be too many external distractions. If there are no distractions and this still happens. It is either that individual really needs to rest or sleep to help re-organize his thoughts or he has a serious attention deficit.

In contrast a mind that is extremely focused can almost never be distracted.

We can help the normal child by giving them subtle cues to return to the topic or maybe ask the same question in a different way that his type of mind can understand. Some kids will understand abstract concepts if you use pictures to illustrate what is being discussed. The kinetic type of thinker probably would understand ideas if it is demonstrated with their physical involvement. Get her or someone in front of the class to demonstrate the idea. Games such as "Charades" may be helpful. Highlighting methods may help. Teach the kid a simple gesture of maybe temporarily using her hands (only when needed and highly distracted) to cover the sides of her vision to help her redirect focus while paying attention. Closing windows and doors to avoid distracting lights and sounds may also do the trick if really necessary. A spot light in a dark room could really help direct anyone's attention.  Use positive reinforcements. You may use short and consistent or regular schedules. Minimize time with the television for entertainment but go watch if those are educational programs.

Stages and screens are like windows. Make sure you are only looking out those windows if your attention in the real world is not needed at that moment. Your focus may not roam within the day, but it may roam around within the span of years. So you can also be gradually distracted especially if you do not have long term goals or deep foresight. Foresight is also discussed somewhere in the blog.

Do the same for older children and adults. Do not allow your thoughts and attention to roam back to dwell on your enslaving biases and addictions.

Sharply focused adults may be effective in doing the job fast and efficiently. It may also be a trap by itself keeping the person inside a boring non dynamic scene. However, the roaming thinkers may provide out of the box and creative ideas that may be overlooked by the other group. They both need each other. But of course, the person who is able to master both kinds of minds may be in a better position to work under any circumstance and with any kind of partner available at that instant. This balanced kind of person may be the  type that may notice that a huge part of the human family is suffering, can temporarily put his personal interest on hold, understand the problems, contribute to the solutions by alerting other busy people to work on those ignored global problems. Once the attentions of ordinary people are directed to where they should be, then we can prioritize and work on one problem at a time collectively while making sure that all the possible solutions are considered and implemented as necessary until the problem is contained. If we can do that as a specie, then we are well on our way to humanity's bold and bright future. Maybe there is also a way to change our limited focus to a near 360 degree type of situational awareness. If that is too much, then maybe at least the examples for activities for the child mentioned above may be a good starting point. Regardless we are always open to brighter ideas.

Perspective

"We may need secular and spiritual leaders who know the intricacies of life in the trenches. Leader servants (not insensitive unskilled tyrant leaders) who can walk the talk regardless of what position that is. Leaders must be exposed to menial work while the grass roots must taste or at least learn to understand the basic mechanisms of administrative work."

It is always better if we all have the ability to filter and manipulate all of Life's sensory inputs with perfect attention.

You may be the type of person that became preoccupied with detail. On the other hand you may be the type that only looks at the bigger picture.

If you are among the detail type, you might want to explore the bigger pictures in life. Do not be too concerned with giving coins to street children on the street when you can do a lot better if you grow your Heart to produce Assets for the long term. Those assets will enable you to support substantially and regularly those institutions that have programs that rehabilitate and empower those misguided kids. Why not try to dream and work on yourself so you can put up expanding organizations that will help those poor kids. Are you growing that kind of Heart? Many of the skills you need are discussed somewhere in my blogs.

For the Big picture guys on the other hand, why not try to exert effort checking out the details why you became devoid of details about yourself or about your companion or about your community. Why can't the budding entrepreneur who just recently became the boss of his dad's enterprise steer the business to expand rapidly like his dad used to do. He might be having persistent problems with handling of new employees. Why can't he go down the trenches and understand the details in workflow, routines, retraining, systems and people skills on site rather than abdicate those to subordinates who equally do not know what must be done? Those lost details are probably what his dad laid out long ago.

Maybe we could teach these to infants and young child by first letting them play with a magnifying glass and explain details versus the bigger picture seen by the naked eye. Explain as much of everything in detail to your ever inquisitive toddler who does not run out of questions. Do not curb their appetite to ask and to question some discovered inconsistencies in our adult way of life. Be honest if you do not know but tell the kid that you will try to find out why that is. Do it together. Teach them how to describe in detail. Keep the ideas in the discussion in context minding the bigger picture. Do the same for late childhood as well as adolescence but in more subtle methods.

"My toddler shows me nail polish on her toes. I know she's very detailed, so I launched detailed questions that ask if it's too dark...if it’s smooth... Then I gradually switched to low power magnification asking why she does not have nail color on her hands...why her teeth are not colored... why her dog or her doll doesn't have their nails colored (she laughed but I do not want her distracted by the joke so I continued) ...I asked her why I do not have color in my hand or why her mom also does not wear nail polish...something to that effect you get the point...just pull back to let her see the big picture..."

As adults, know and be informed that you do not have to be a big boss of a large company to learn how to run a business in order to get the lifestyle you yearn for if that is still the way you think. Find a way to allocate both seriousness and fun in your work no matter how menial and insignificant that work seems to you or other people. Who knows if that humble position may be a key to run a bigger organization /project at full efficiency. You know what? That is the key that most are ignoring. If you are a maintenance clerk or janitor for example, you can find ways to be very efficient in your work. Mind the details by innovating on the current routines. Your skills will not go unnoticed. You will find yourself later transferred to even higher and higher positions keeping those disciplines of turning your dry disorganized routines to very efficient ones. If you can do it in the small stuff, then you can do it in the bigger stuff. But after all that, do not be satisfied with mastering detailed attention since the big picture type of attention may be needed when you move to advanced stages of development. The latter type of attention perspective is more essential if you will begin to handle and manage plenty of detailed perspective partners that may number like an entire army. Since the rank and file people may not see everything beyond their highly specialized craft, the big perspective person must be in a better position to watch the trends, see what is needed or in high demand from moment to moment. He must sense any unforeseen consequences that needed corrective work or maneuver. If other projects needed to be built to work synergistically with the current project, then he is the person accountable for that.  This not only applies in businesses but also in non profit organization like religions. We may need secular and spiritual leaders who know the intricacies of life in the trenches. Leader servants (not insensitive unskilled tyrant leaders) who can walk the talk regardless of what position that is. Leaders must be exposed to menial work while the grass roots must taste or at least learn to understand the basic mechanisms of administrative work.

More about these kinds of rumblings and rantings in my blog. Feel free to find links to my blogs located on my Facebook wall.

Attention Control

"Not carefully paying attention resulted to a huge attention debt that we must now all begin to seriously settle collectively as a specie." - Al Cal

As we live our lives, we learn and experience many many things over the years. Learning can be easy. But sometimes, some of us may find it difficult because we have trouble paying attention. Attention includes our ability to listen and our ability to focus. It also include abilities to fit new ideas with old ones kept in memory. Attention is also involved in our actions to solve problems and to accomplish complex tasks.

There is goodness in everyone even in the worse you have ever known. It is just that bad people try to shut down a part of the brain that cares. The most unkind and also the kindest people you know who makes mistakes do it in the same way. We all have the empathy neurons or mirror neurons in our brains that allow us to feel the pain and pleasure that others may be experiencing. But the attention of many are still voluntarily being trapped in materialism, consumerism, physical accomplishments, etc rather than intangible treasures that will stay with us for as long as we live. Simply speaking, it is just that we fail to pay attention to our surroundings such that we can not act accordingly.

Attention control is a job we should have completed during school age. This is a time when the brain is suppose to establish its executive attention controls mostly under higher brain functions. If fight and flight automatic responses are controlled by the brainstem, then the higher brain functions that include complex processes are handled by a different part of the brain-the supratentorial brain or upper brain.

Shifting our attention by first disengaging our focus from one stimulus, moving our focus and then engaging another stimulus are also handled by different parts of the brain.

Our attention may be greatly influenced by bias, perspective, focus and time allocation. Attention may also be influenced by foresight, problem-solution filter, scheduling/pacing, sequencing, resource enumeration, evaluation, and hindsight. The above mentioned attention control skills or creativity skills are themselves products of Values such as Love and others that include Hope, Prudence, Restraint, Justice and Order.

Poor attention control results to inaccurate perceptions, impulsivity, or consequent avoidant or antisocial behaviors that distract us from attending to our real Needs.

Bias Control 2

The same for early and late childhood as well as adolescents. Say "No" firmly when appropriate. Avoid leaving the kid to grandparents (not applicable to all of course) who usually have less energy to train the kid. Help the child adjust the volume of his voice when talking. Remind him constantly to adjust the voice volume to socially acceptable levels. Do not expect patience to develop completely earlier than late childhood since most brains are not wired for Patience and other related Input control skills before that time. Make humanitarian endeavors appear like child's play so that your kid will become more familiar with such activities that it becomes deeply incorporated into the growing environment friendly biosphere culture of the future. Teach him the basic life skills that we lost because of our culture of cynicism and convenience.

What good will a young genius rocket scientist kid be if the economy fails or typhoons wreak havoc and the kid has no survival skills. Does you kid know some form of first aid.. As adults, have you any idea how to do basic life support using chest compressions without breaths? Are we really walking the talk of Loving Life? Or are we stubbornly fixated to our own little addictions that ruin life? Do we have a caring Heart?

As adults, we developed Hearts attached to  ownerships and concepts of hoarding. Even hoarding of special knowledge. Since that time, we have been subconsciously accumulating stuff at a rate more than our skills could find time to use them. We did not develop skills of adding  value to anything we get our hands on and sharing it with others. Those commodities become junk the sooner we crave for the latest thing. We trashed our world while we pampered ourselves. It is now a time to help and give. Stop hoarding. What we have today may all be thrown to waste if everything collapses. No one will ever use those resources that were tucked away for some rainy day if we do not use them now. Care to take a look outside, it's already "raining and flooding".  We will respect your decision if you will continue to fill the environment with waste from totally short lasting commodities that were designed to break down fast. Our world became a "big junkyard" of things of stagnant value  that are withheld from the needy which creates a temporary illusion of scarcity instead of revealing real abundance. This was partly the reason why the global economy was all messed up. That is how we dealt with our possessions, our skills  and so called academic competencies. We kept and held on to them fearing we could lose them if we shared and taught our secrets with the needy others. Look at what you have been accumulating all this time. What are your addictions? Do you really believe that is what you will be doing all your life? Have you tried to do other stuff without necessarily giving up on your first biases or wants? Why not try exploring the kind of satisfaction gained from physical activity if you are the reclusive type? How about real humanitarian projects and causes if you were the narcissistic type? Why not try inner explorations if you are the outgoing kinetic type?

Try not to restrict your preferences because you are actually capable of less self-restrictions than you'll ever know. Yes you can always get a partner who can complement your weaknesses. But if they leave for some reason, you are once again left disabled. Try to learn things you never had before. You do that and you will closely approach being fully interdependent.

Bias Control

Bias

Bias can lead to restrictions or they can become a form of disability. On the other hand, too much unnecessary focus on a thing may eventually  lead to some sort of addiction. Never prematurely stop your search for your hidden talents. If you are not restricting yourself, you would really know that you have been giving Love with all your Heart and dormant skills that you are trying to re-awaken.

"Normalcy bias" (tendency to believe that the world around you will stay normal) may distort our reality. Many would like to think that the world would remain the same or at least everything immediately around them will remain secure and stable all their lives. It may border on delusions that everything will remain as they are for as long as one is not ready for any change. For example, it causes anxiety towards retirement if you fail to secure yourself financially. Retirement is something to look forward to for those that accepted the fact that we are still students throughout adulthood learning much more things we could possible imagine. School does not end after graduation. Your diplomas are actually just among the many your limitless Hearts can attain. People with normalcy bias may learn a few tricks from those who have "preparedness bias". These people prefer to be safe than sorry. They prepare for the worst possible scenario and are taking  considerable stress to assure their safety and survival.

Those with "preparedness bias" may need periods of rest or normalcy. They have been stretching their abilities in order to be ready to overcome nearly all obstacles long before they actually happen. However they have problems communicating with the other group and are usually misunderstood because of how they present themselves. Both groups are crippled and they could not really move forward if they will not find a way to speak though the heart.

Another, which we can call "toy bias" may trap one on the play stage beyond adulthood. There are toys for kids while there are bigger toys for the bigger kids we call adults. What are those toys you've been upgrading? Do you have an old addiction you had since childhood? Are you a gadget freak? However, playing and having fun with toys in the game of life could make life easier for many. Be reminded that not all nice toys are man made.

On the other hand, the very few with "higher pursuit bias" are brought to the lonely place of providing, guiding and overseeing the rest of humanity.  Some of them are tempted to play a monopoly game where they can toy around some quite stubborn people with not so high pursuits and who also lack the needed skills.

The more people develop bias for higher pursuits, the less potentially abusive monopolies will be established. But when more of the toy biased dominates, the more our world will accumulate junk toys that eventually pollute the entire planet causing human and animal death and suffering. If you are among the toy biased, drastically change your mindset and lifestyle to moderation and attempt to curb your misdirected over-consumption now. The higher pursuit providers will have no choice but to slow down and match their production with your moderate consumption of uncontaminated stuff. We all depend on each other in many ways than we originally thought we were.

Each of us are to blame if blaming itself is not a waste of time.

We can begin correcting this by explaining to infants and young children that they need to try out other things other than their favorite food or toys or activities. Do not force it down their throats. Their young brain wirings normally exhibit extreme distractibility. Teach toddlers by example since despite this distractibility they also can't control themselves but copy your every move. Show them pictures and movies and books that illustrate Patience, Restraint or Temperance. Expose them to pure uncontaminated nature (if there are still places like that left in the world) on a more regular basis and for longer hours if that is at all possible. Remember moderate consumption of uncontaminated goods.

The same for early and late childhood as well as adolescents. Say "No" firmly when appropriate. Avoid leaving the kid to grandparents (not applicable to all of course) who usually have less energy to train the kid. Help the child adjust the volume of his voice when talking. Remind him constantly to adjust the voice volume to socially acceptable levels. Do not expect patience to develop completely earlier than late childhood since most brains are not wired for Patience and other related Input control skills before that time. Make humanitarian endeavors appear like child's play so that your kid will become more familiar with such activities that it becomes deeply incorporated into the awakening environment friendly biosphere culture of the future. Teach him the basic life skills that we lost because of our culture of convenience.

What good will a young genius rocket scientist kid be if the economy fails or typhoons wreak havoc and the kid has no survival skills. Does your kid know some form of first aid? As adults, have you any idea how to do basic life support using chest compressions without breaths? Are we really walking the talk of Loving Life? Or are we stubbornly fixated to our own little addictions that ruin life? Do we have a caring Heart?

As adults, we developed Hearts attached to ownerships and concepts of hoarding. Even hoarding of special knowledge. Since that time, we have been subconsciously accumulating stuff at a rate more than our skills could find time to use them. We did not develop skills of adding  value to anything we get our hands on and sharing it with others. Those commodities become junk as soon as we crave for the latest thing. We trashed our world while we pampered ourselves. It is now a time to help and give. Stop hoarding. What we have today may all be thrown to waste if everything collapses. No one will ever use those resources that were tucked away for some rainy day if we do not use them now. Try to determine what you have been accumulating all this time. What are your addictions? Do you really believe that is what you will be doing all your life? Have you tried to do other stuff without necessarily totally giving up on your first biases or wants?

I invite the spiritual gurus to come down from their recluse and teach people how they fixed their Hearts. Show the masses how you can empower them with real world skills they can use everyday. I invite  the efficient tangible wealth generating sons of industrialists to extend a helping hand and empower the masses so we can help clean the environment we all screwed up with our insatiable consumptions. We are here ready to help as soon as we are slowly empowered with new knowledge and skills. We would also appreciate it if you allow better education to trickle down through our dilapidated educational systems.

Everyone, try new stuff you think will be helpful for everyone. Try not to restrict your preferences because you are actually capable of less self-restrictions than you'll ever know. Yes you can always get a partner who can complement your weaknesses. But if they leave or pass away for some reason, you are once again left disabled. Try to learn things you never had before. You do that and you will closely approach being fully interdependent.

This is not about the accomplishment or the destination. It is about our common journey into the bright environment friendly biosphere culture of the future that we all long for as one big human family sharing our different colorful experiences.

Finding the right partner in life or business or project

The most important question really is if your prospect or potential partner has the appropriate heart, mindset and skill-set that it takes to let you live the life you need and want. Of course they should want and love to be with you in the first place.

So how do you know if that person is the "right" one? How would you know if he will indeed become what he wants to become in the future?

1 Know what life stage you are in (Please read about the different Life stages of Human Development in this blog even if they are still work in progress), then know what life stage your partner is in.  Guided by the stages, dream of the world you want to have and focus on the positive things about it.

2 Based on your dream, list and prioritize your Values of choice in life.

3 Based on your chosen Values, develop the necessary skills related to that Value. Develop effective communication/empathy skills—laying on the table all your strengths, dreams and expectations/aspirations /needs early. Pick and plan your journey through the different stages  together with your partner. Fill it up with as many activities you like that will let your Values grow in harmony. Modify and improvise along the way. (I have enumerated a few Values and tabulated them with the associated skills in my paper drafts. Those are not posted here yet as I still have to re-list them on the comments sections below each stage being discussed in this blog. Please bear with me)

4 Touch as many other lives as you can in your own ways with the partner you committed to.

Now this may appear boring to some, especially those with the less abstract minds-the visual thinkers. But it may highly appeal to the complex thinkers, social thinkers and organized thinkers. Hopefully I can find a way to make it more interesting by adding pictures.



Tendencies and Attachment styles


People in the crawl stage may have tendencies to become extremely or persistently dependent. Review their profile (Please read about the different Life stages of Human Development in this blog even if they are still work in progress).

People in the walk and run stages may exhibit combinations of being dependent or extremely independent to occasional strong aversion from very dependent types. Review their profiles again if necessary.

People in the fly stage and beyond may also exhibit combinations but usually possess more of interdependent qualities rather than very dependent or very aversive/reclusive profiles. They can work and compensate or carry the baggages of people exhibiting the other two kinds of attachment style.


General Advise from Psychologists

Psychologists may give a general advise for the people who are seeking partners to target the interdependent types. For chances are, these types would adjust to complement the others thereby stabilizing the relationship.

My view on these

Regardless if you already have a partner or you are still seeking for one, you may find it helpful for both parties to know where they are in the stages. They should communicate to understand one another, agree to take a certain path and develop the necessary knowledge and skill to get there. In other words, you can make the relationship work if you put your hearts to it. And enjoying your journey together and with more and more people included in your expanding circle may be more important than any kind of accomplishment or destination. This is not to belittle any genuine attempt at goal setting.

You might want to try to become interdependent yourselves. Care may be taken not dwell too much in being extremely dependent or extremely aversive. Learn to work a harmonious relationship with any type of people you meet.

Fly Stage (Job Free)

"You can quit your job anytime you wish now. You do not even try to bargain with yourself about quitting your old job or temporary career because you know that your time is better devoted to more important stuff ... helping and empowering people in your areas of interest... consciously avoiding prolonged dole outs if possible."

"A school kid was asked the question...do you like math?.. The kid answered... I am the only one at school who likes math... Everyone else I know hates math. They don't enjoy thinking about numbers... He was asked a follow up question.. So what do you want to say to your friends about it? ... The kid answered candidly .. Well they better find ways to make learning math more fun coz they will need it when they grow up.."

Fly Stage

Now riding on 4-wheels rather than on 2-wheels. Make sure you read about the "Crawl Stage", the "Walk Stage" and the "Run Stage"..

Emotions

These may be among your more prominent emotions.

You have achieved interdependence and self sufficiency. You show people tools to cope up. You can cope calmly and effectively.

You can manage rejection and know where it is coming from. You are highly empathic with good communications skills. You are sensitive to the needs of others and are capable to provide them with what they need.

You invest much time and energy with satisfying your partner or friends, and empowering them sooner than later

If the other person finally becomes empowered and interdependent with your humble help even without them knowing it, you feel joy.

You can really make lasting commitments after careful thought and reflection

Fear is nearly non existent. Love takes over.

Bad habits are nearly  gone but their lessons are well remembered .

Time may begin to slow down again. You are still very motivated /driven.  You enrich your heart through values,  knowledge and skills. Your values, knowledge and skills are returning satisfactory results.

You feel more confident about investing and wish to share the abundance and blessings that you have with others.

Compassion, charity, a genuine concern for human welfare ….. Your small successes in achieving goal after goal after goal leads you ever closer to your dream and higher purpose in life. You can almost touch your dreams which are much larger than you and are not about you.

You are spending comfortably now that you are financially independent.

You feel it unnecessary to live below your means at this point because of the silly fact that your simple lifestyle can be supported by your growing tax contribution.

Living below your means is an old habit that is hard but not that difficult to break.

You can quit your job anytime you wish now. You do not even try to bargain with yourself about quitting your old job or temporary career because you know that your time is better devoted to more important stuff ... helping and empowering people in your areas of interests...avoiding prolonged dole outs if possible.

Your old job (if you had any) is just a back up or plan B.

Your financial plan is serious and you may even be planning to hire professional financial planners for your growing projects. Your financial plans are very detailed and hard to retain by memory.

You take advantage of good insurance policies. You and your assets are fully covered by insurance. That is partly because you know how to control  and manage risks. Later you will replace those insurance with your Values.

Health is one of your top concerns.

You keep the habit of "paying yourself first" reserving the money/ideas for future bigger investments.

You are passionate in empowering everyone willing and able hoping that you replicate yourself in like minded people.

Aside from empowering others, you can not do anything else but empathize with stagnating people in the complacency stage who are trying to avoid the retirement phase they dread because of their mindset. To those who cannot break loose from an old mindset, you still try to help provide them with work that they can cling to.

Goals

Your  salary more than meets your basic needs. But you need the leverage of partnership to help other people beyond your current reach.

You may plan to quit your job soon so you can start spending more time with your family and other more important things other than work (job).

Your dream is a lot bigger.

You found a higher purpose and meaning in life.

You live to enjoy some luxuries which are usually related to food and parties, travel, cultural development, beauty and health...care of your residual income.

You seriously plan for immediate retirement from your job.

Your asset allocation is far from being conservative.

Emergency fund can support you for months to years without any sort of income.

You know that personal insurance will protect you as the primary income generator while you make your initial run.

You continue to save and invest for tangible and intangible wealth to help empower others.

You get the attention of the "established value-poor cash-rich abusive people" .

Your for-profit and non-profit projects are beginning to enter the global scene.

Asset flow pattern

Your cash flow pattern begins to follow that of the rare genuine asset-rich people. Your salary/active income/earned income is your secondary income. Passive income shoulders all your basic living expenses as well as luxuries.

You have solid wealth building assets rewarding you with a genuinely rich lifestyle.

Your values strengthen other related values. You have identified and nearly developed all necessary skills you need.

You house is now designed for practicality and utmost safety. So as your cars.

You attract opportunities. Banks and friends want you to take their money and grow it for them.

You have more than adequate resources or credit in case of emergency.

Skills

You have developed life skills and business skills.

You can easily inspire people to follow their own dreams.

You talk with their spirits rather than their emotions.

You can easily convince other people that your ideas are always bigger and better.

You know how to manage your team's talents. You continue practicing/ sharpening your business and life skills which include selling, buying/investing, leadership, communication, money management, financing, accountability, planning, quantification, innovation, orchestration, etc.

You have the capacity to build, support and maintain global organizations with the help of local and/or international partners.

You just don't read about history.. You make history.

Team

You have almost if not already put together the best team.

You hire the best professionals that money can hire ...people who can protect your assets.

You look up to your mentor (if any) who has more solid experience. Your family and even your most doubting friends seek your advice. You can pick up valuable lessons from kids.

In the comment section I MAY post recommendations or directions you can take to sharpen your values

Run Stage (Motivated)

"A complete about face... You avoid procrastination... You have the ability to make things happen... You just go out and do it... You drop the victim mentality... You create your own world... You do all that and so much more surprisingly at the same time not making new enemies in the process... "

Run Stage

Analogy is that you are now riding a three-wheeled vehicle. More stability but still not as many on the top would want it, right? Make sure you already read about the "Crawl Stage" and the "Walk Stage" before reading this.

Emotions

These may be some of your most dominant emotions.

You experience a re-awakening of the young human Values you possess. Strong feelings of Love, Charity, Justice, Hope, Temperance, Order and Fortitude etc are deeply felt.

You are taking these Values and their fruits of knowledge and skills to new heights.

Passion for learning and helping are much much stronger.

You have less fears but with healthy doses of anxiety.

Your greatest obstacles are your very own bad habits that you try to identify, monitor and improve on everyday ...everyday.

You feel time moving so fast. You are motivated /driven.

You are willing to grow your Values, knowledge and skills beyond your diploma beyond retirement.

Your growing Values help give you an unexplainable kind of security and freedom.

Much of your fears of investing and borrowing money may be gone because you are learning how to manage risks. 
You forgive the repentant.
You tame the proud with your meekness and wisdom. You gain respect. You reflect positive qualities and others could feel it.
You don't make tantrums when your honor is smeared. You know that there will always be mature people who know you better.
You feel relatively alone because there are a few like you.
You may feel the same feelings as those in the crawl or walk stage. But you developing feelings that are more characteristic of the next stage (fly stage).

Goals

These may be some of your goals.

Despite living a fair to good life, the degree of empathy you try to develop allows you more to accommodate and embrace more risks, stress and workload acting to improve the life of others beyond your family or the limited reach of your "diplomas" or formal academic /vocational training. You are among the few who realize that empathy (among many other skills) can allow human civilization to move forward to a better future.

Your  salary more than meets your basic needs. But you need the leverage of partnership to help other people beyond your current reach. Your partners believe in your plans.

You may plan to quit your job soon so you can start spending more time with your family and other more important things other than work (job).

Your dream is a lot bigger.

You found a higher purpose and meaning in life.

You live below your means even if you can afford some luxuries.

You plan to delay gratification for a few years (maybe 3-5 years) to achieve even higher unselfish goals.

You want to build wealth for the long-term (not short term to end around retirement) at the same time develop fortitude, faith, determination, perseverance and a burning desire that would never fade.

You know that sudden riches without the proper mindset and skill-set or emotional maturity would be short-lived.

You seriously plan for early retirement.

You align your risk tolerance to an appropriate asset allocation strategy. You either adapt a balanced asset allocation strategy or an aggressive "enhanced growth" strategy. Emergency fund is respectable (15-20% of income).

You know that personal insurance will protect you as the primary income generator while you make your initial run.

Aside from paying taxes, you try to "pay yourself" and specifically reserve that for future investments. You now do not work to save to occasionally pamper yourself ...but you now try to save more to grow your tangible and intangible wealth in order to help empower others.

You plan to compete with the "established value-poor cash-rich abusive people" so that the less empowered will have much better alternatives.

Skills

You are beginning to hear about the more appropriate skill-set you never took seriously.

You know you have to develop those necessary life skills skills for tangible and intangible wealth building.

You understand  "good debt" and leverage more than ever. You know they are just among the many alternative tools.

Your job earns you a nice monthly salary (probably nothing or probably 10-750 thousand pesos) but you just can't wait to grow your assets so you can possibly quit your job entirely (if you had any) at the soonest possible chance.

You now realize that jobs are really risky in the long term (it takes so much of your valuable time that should have been spent for your own dreams rather than another persons dreamworld) and so now you regard your job as transitional or a stepping stone ...to be replaced with smarter options as you prepare for possible early retirement from that old job to take on new work that builds your dreams.

You may be trying to develop entrepreneurial skills or you may be trying to set up a non profit organization for the benefit of a bigger community. Or you may just be linking your projects with established benevolent industrialists or financial angels since you do not focus to much on money.

Your financial vocabulary and communication skills may be growing fast.

You are beginning to write a more serious but attainable short- and long-term financial plans with considerable detail and with real deadlines.

Asset allocation strategy is being geared for balanced or enhanced growth.Your asset column if being flooded by intangible assets.

You are better able to track all your resources and expenses...

Adding, reading and analyzing numbers now interests you. You may not know how to deal with numbers or math but you understand how to use them. You know what to count.

You have better budgeting skills.

You are more aggressive.

Your emergency fund and intangible contingencies will last for long periods of time.

You understand the life of successful people (cash-poor asset-rich people).

You begin learning how to write ...including letters asking support for your charitable projects. You like selling...selling mostly good ideas (not necessarily commodities/products) to other people who readily buys them.

Improving interpersonal skills. Improving emotional intelligence. Increasing number of people who respect you. Decreasing number of people you hurt. You are trying to develop people skills to attract people to your causes.

Improving systems skills. Better time management skills. Better organizational skills to run your cause or project.

Better leadership skills to lead your staff.

Your survival skills are better.

You love life and you "walking the talk". You have basic skills to save lives.

Cash-rich, asset-poor abusive people do not understand you and thinks you are crazy because intangible assets are not that significant in their way of life.

Order: Slowly strengthened and  achieved by skills mentioned above.

Restraint: Materialistic thoughts and negative feelings are tamed.

Justice: You are more forgiving even to unpleasant people...yet you guard the defenseless and oppressed.

Fortitude: No one can stop you from defending the poor..and winning the battle..you conquered fear itself.

Compassion: You see your old helpless self in other needy folks. You are more empathic ... and you take ACTION because you are growing the SKILLS

Love: Enriched by the above-mentioned values.

Asset flow pattern

Your cash flow pattern begins to follow that of the rare genuine asset rich people. Your salary/active income/earned income answers your basic living expenses for now. You plan to let a growing passive income shoulder all your expenses soon. Passive income (in contrast to active income above) is still building up but still inadequate to be the one answering basic living expenses.

You can identify real assets from liabilities. You have discovered their real meanings.

Your lifestyle is not excessive because you can easily control your liabilities.

Lifestyle is slim and trim. You want a simpler, safer house or car.

You are learning to read financial statements.

You believe that the increasing velocity of passive income is more important than stagnant positive cash flow.

You are on the hunt for better opportunities.

You use the leverage of "good debts" that may fuel your first wealth building assets.

You have adequate resource or credit in case of emergency.

A child is considered a blessing rather than some sort of investment or financial vehicle. Alternative education (which you may have personally concocted) augments a carefully selected educational system for your child (if any) and are among your top concerns.

Health is wealth. Values, knowledge and skills are wealth. Intangible wealth becomes more stimulating than sensationalized news or material wealth.

Team

You have an accountant.

You may or may not have a lawyer in your team.

You hire professionals who can drive your investment vehicle the way you want it.

You are trying to build a solid team whose members are always far specialized than you.  You are seriously and actively trying to surround yourself with people or professionals (as mentioned above) who are specialized in their own fields that can help you reach your higher goals faster. You  leverage on their skills.

You look up to your mentor (if any) who has more solid experience.

Your friends and some family members seek advice from you.

Recommended activities to achieve this stage and prepare for the next stage may be posted below..

Walk Stage (Complacency)

"Almost everyone favors a happy lifestyle ... avoiding stress ...staying relaxed and complacent ...only doing what makes them and their immediate social support happy

A few ...though appearing as though they are doing the same things that most people are doing ... Also exert a little itsy bitsy time to consciously strive to develop Values that they also treasure a little more ..."

Walk Stage
 

Sometimes I imagine this as a phase when you ride a two-wheeled vehicle. Still looks dangerous but a little better. I love motorbikes and occasionally ride a big bike or scooter. That explains the wheeled vehicle analogies.

Emotions

These may be among your most dominant emotions.

You just have to achieve and maintain your independence and self-sufficiency, and you often avoid intimate or close relationships with another person (on an individual perspective) ...or if not applicable, you are avoiding stress from strangers, other unknown families or man made institutions or the rest of the global human family whom you think is not your family (from the perspective of an independent family unit you are hiding from the unsafe world)

You are sensitive to signs of control or influence on your world by a partner or friend or institution. Even though you want a sense of belongingness, you feel uncomfortable with too much closeness/intimacy (pls view from different perspectives like above).   You do not expect others to reciprocate your positive feelings. It does not concern you. You can manage rejection better than in the former stage. Poor communication skills.

You may have a tendency to avoid inconveniences.

You tend to be emotionally distant to people beyond your perceived obligation.

If the person/institution you consider as "others" begins to leave you alone, then you feel comfortable.

You may be the type that automatically tries to avoids commitments...although you want a stable one someday... or you are in a commitment but somehow fail to maintain the spark it once had.

You feel that you will be okay as long as you keep your current job.

There is a temporary feeling of stability since you have enough resources within your reach at your disposal.

 Your job makes you feel "secure". Time is still relatively abundant. You have time to find anything that will entertain you.

You may still be willing and open to work/think harder for longer hours in return for more salary, energy or power.

You feel lost without your job.

You are not comfortable with loans/debts.

You fear losing money if you invest.

Goals

These may be some of your goals.

Although salary is enough to meet your basic needs plus maybe occasional luxuries, you are open to a better compensation.

But since you are living a good life, this is not a priority concern so you do not act to improve your condition.

You are enjoying the benefit of a good scholastic/professional education or a nice stable passive income/supply of energy/resources.

You are less dependent on others and you want to keep it that way for as long as it takes.

All you may know to keep your money is to cut up on costs.

You want to make sure your parent/guardian/husband /wife doesn't die ahead of you, because he/she is the primary income generator.

Assets

Emergency fund can go as high as 500k.

You do not keep a separate account for future investments.

You may have a house or car which you believe are among  your greatest assets.

You may be living in your own house or leased apartment.

You may have insurance.

You may not be loaning money and other tangible assets.

Still building your intangible assets.

There is still lack of balance and harmony. Your current lifestyle will stop right after retirement. You do not track your assets.

Poor planning skills. No concrete contingencies.

Still poor input and output controls or focus and restraint sometimes to the point of neglecting distant needy others.

Lacking in courage/fortitude

Charity may be in the form of stagnant regular small donations from P10 to maybe P100 weekly or a stagnant regular cash donations/gifts totaling about P200 to P50,000 annually

Dreams are personal and simple.

( You think you are surviving but you may slip back to the former stage in case of any major life event)

Skills

You have good to excellent vocational/professional skills.

Your financial skills are still poor.

Financial planning skill is still poor.

You adopt a conservative or "saver" asset allocation strategy.

You still do not keep track of all your expenses. Poor resource/inventory tracking skills.

Adding, reading and analyzing numbers does not interest you.

You begin learning how to budget but not necessarily successful every time.

You do not have short-term and long-term plans that are specific, detailed, realistic, measurable, attainable and timed.

Cost-cutting may be your ONLY or a major strategy. You are not aggressive.

Your emergency fund is small

You do not know how to sell and you may even hate selling.

You think selling is a skill of sales representatives that go door to door.

You may believe that there is no such thing as "good debt".

Poor systems and organizational skills.

 Your survival skills are poor.

Few first aid skills can be recalled. Fading basic life support skills... if you had any.  Some may know "Hands only" CPR or CPR without breaths.

Asset flow pattern

Your cash flow pattern follows those of the poor or the middle class. Earned income may support an above average living lifestyle. So you can earn more from your job ...than you spend.... there is unused surplus.

If you are single, some shopping habits develop.

You may own a few expensive things you bought for yourself and that you consider as assets.

You may have a credit card.

You may have bank or personal loans.

If you marry, suddenly … you have a combined income.

But shopping is controlled with occasional sprees.

Private education for your child (if any) and health may be one of your top concerns.

You may have a house or a car which you believe are real assets.

Team

These are the advisers you have.

You may have a regular accountant or PA

You may have a standby lawyer. 

Aside from the above, your immediate and fewer older family and friends are still your advisers.

Crawl Stage (Dependence)

"There was this poorly nourished kid; he woke up again for the nth time hungry. He was awaiting for his father who he knew just went out to find him food...it has been days now. He fell asleep again and in his dream...there he saw a woman carrying an infant in her weak forearm ... With eyes almost crying just as if she was begging for water for the dehydrated infant in her falling arms. The little infant, wrapped in a dirty thin linen, had very thin limbs partly exposed to the humid caressing winds, dark skinned, dry open mouth... flies occasionally land on the infant's cracking lips...

This dreaming malnourished kid was moved .... Grasped her plastic bowl still with some water ...stretched his arms to the teary eyed woman ... He was actually offering her his last can of water... Before the woman could reach the water ...he fell asleep within his dream ....this time it was different. He woke up and he somehow was not hungry. He did not realize he died.

Now the next scenes are mixed with a story that I can not recall where I got. As this malnourished boy in the above story was taken with the winds...he saw kids with a different skin color, accompanied by healthy adult women trying to celebrate the ceremonious opening of a small drinking well which was actually funded by a teen-aged boy who traveled from afar now standing there. This donor boy actually worked and earned a few hundred dollars in his home country ....within  his community... practicing all the life , organizational, selling, planning and orchestration skills he has at a young age ...after having been inspired and moved by what he saw on television one day. I can not recall the details where I read something that narrates this but somehow these pictures got stuck on my memory. 

I see genuine human values of Love, Charity, Compassion, Fortitude, Justice and Order in both kids ... both gave everything they had... They are not in the "crawling stage" as we would think... 

The first scenario may not happen everyday ...but the second scenario ...which is more complex ...actually did happen.... I hope this can inspire some of us..."

Crawl Stage

 

Below is a rough list. The final format may be a questionnaire form that can be tallied and analyzed to roughly point where one is among the different stages. The ideas may describe the time when we were more dependent. It may be a period when we can not support a lifestyle. This may be analogous to a situation when we ride a one-wheeled vehicle. Looks pretty risky.

Emotions

You need support to keep you alive, breathing, stable and happy.

Your greatest fear is not having enough financial support/salary /resources/ energy.

You cling to job security or a position of borrowed/delegated power.  You may feel you're on top of the world when you eventually get it. You may feel you have all the time in the world.

You are willing and open to work/think harder for longer hours in return for more salary, energy or power.

Feelings of desperation, insecurity, paranoia and doubts may haunt you … especially if you have no job and no liberating skills.

You long for independence and self sufficiency.

You are very sensitive to rejection.  You feel anxious that people may not reciprocate the feeling. This may or may not paralyze you.

You invest much time and energy with feelings and yearnings of getting someone to cling on to.  You over-analyze people ...maybe to the extreme. The innocent actions of others may appear threatening or often misinterpreted.

If the other person provides care, security and reassurance, you feel calm.

You may be the type who can make commitments without much thought.

Goals

These are your primary goals.

You want a better incentive/fee/salary/compensation/education as soon as possible. You wish you had a better job.

You may want to further improve your professional skills as this would equate to a better job.  You value a good scholastic/professional education.
You want a real friend.
You have to live with a guardian or parents.

You want to wean off your dependence on others.

If you may have any serious dream at all, you dream of someone to really take care of you or ... more money/power because you believe it will answer all or most of your problems.

Assets

You have no emergency fund.

You do not keep a separate account for future investments.

You never personally bought yourself a house or car which you believe can be your greatest assets.

You have no permanent address.

You may be living with your family or friends.

You do not have insurance and you may think it is unnecessary.

You borrow money and other tangible assets.

Still building your intangible assets.

There is lack of balance and harmony.

You receive more than you give.

Poor input and output controls or focus and restraint sometimes to the point of abusing others.

Lacking in courage/fortitude

Love, charity and compassion in the form of social smiles, hugs, kisses, embraces.

Skills

These are your present skills.

You may have good to excellent vocational/professional skills.

Your financial skills are very poor.

You may not have any leadership skills.

Poor planning and asset management skills. 

You have a loose financial plan.

You do not keep track of your spending habits.

Adding, reading and analyzing numbers may not interest you much. You have no time counting your daily/weekly/monthly expenses.  You think it is a waste of time.

You may have all the skills above but you tend to take advantage of everything and everyone you can get your hands on

You don't think much about your own safety or others safety.

Some may mostly be concerned  about their own life that smearing it apparently ends everything.  Some may be suicidal just to keep your image untarnished.

You know that life exists but you can not really support life.

Poor bidirectional communication skills. If ever you are good in communications, it is one way and linear.

Asset flow pattern

Your asset flow pattern follows those of the poor. Relatively, you spend (a lot) more than you earn OR you just can not produce (by yourself) enough to satisfy your basic needs.

You may be deep in "bad debt".

Your lifestyle is bare and basic.

Your basic needs are being handled or nearly covered by allowance or "baon" or credit or alimony or pensions. No significant assets you earned by your own sweat ...some may be getting support from tax money contributed by other people (with or without their permission), or support from parents. Some may be emotional vampires (if we talk of the intangibles)

No substantial savings.

You will do anything and everything to source out power/energy/physical needs with or without permission. May exhibit childish or adult type tantrums if deprived.

Team

You get support and advice from this team:

The only advisers you have are your immediate family and a handful of friends (if you have any).

No personal assistants/secretaries. You think they are totally unnecessary.

Recommended extra-curricular activities:

See comments section later...